Last Minute Declaration
by bikermo
Summary: Hermione loves Harry but lets her fear of him dying lead her to chase Ron instead. After the war and Harry survives she decides to tell him. My first attempt at a somewhat longer (for me) one shot.


The war was finally over. The Golden Trio stood together on the bridge to Hogwarts just after Harry had broken the Elder Wand and thrown the pieces to the wind. Each had much to think about.

Ron Weasley, 'Loyal Friend', his present thoughts somewhat self-centered as usual. "Why didn't Harry give me the Elder Wand if he didn't want it? Hermione kissed me, wonder if she wants some Weasley loving tonight! I hope they have a feast in the Grand Hall, even if it is busted up a bit."

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lives! "Why is Ron the Deserter still hanging around? What has he done? Oh I remember-nothing. About to go to my death, and who gets a kiss? Well Merry Christmas and bless us all. I guess he's what she wants-go figure."

And then Hermione. "It's over. Harry looks so tired. I don't have to be afraid anymore. Why did I kiss Ron? I can tell Harry that I love him finally. I kissed Ron?"

A fed up Harry told the others he would see them later and took off. He sped towards the somewhat less than healthy looking Gryffindor Tower to find a place to rest and think. Hermione stood for a moment before taking after Harry. Ron, with little else on his mind, went in search of something to eat.

Harry, not really in the mood to talk, took as many ways around other people as he could. Years of practice helped him avoid everyone and he found himself back in the room he last shared with the other guys. Trunks were opened and thrown around so he couldn't determine which be belonged to any one in particular. So he just picked the cleanest looking one and lay down. He only got a few minutes of peace before Hermione found him.

"Harry, I know you are tired and need rest, but I really must talk to you for a few minutes." With a big sigh, "OK Hermione. But try to keep it short. Besides, you can go back to Ron quicker too."

"Well, that's part of what I want to tell you. I don't want to be with Ron."

"Why not? You've made it plain to me that you wanted him all along. You had quite a snit when he deserted us in the forest. You immediately forgave him when he did come back. You stayed with him through all this mess. You made quite a production of kissing him right in middle of a war. You've followed him around like a lost puppy all this time. What do you mean you don't want Ron? Your actions speak a lot louder than your words here."

"I know how it seemed Harry. I was afraid to show who I really wanted. I was terrified of losing my true love and just couldn't risk telling him in case he were killed in this stupid war."

"I suppose that makes sense. To you maybe. So who is this 'true love' you ignored most of the time?"

"Don't you understand Harry, it's you I love. How could it be anyone else?"

"ME! Pull the other leg Hermione! You've felt nothing for me but friendship. In the tent I came so close to kissing you when we danced. I wanted to, but you continued to sniffle over Ron. No, I can't believe you love me like a woman does a man. If your desire was to hide your love, you did a magnificent job. I don't know why you are pulling this now. Are you pregnant and Ron doesn't want the kid? I'm sure if let Molly know she will change his mind for him."

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! I AM NOT PREGNANT WITH RON'S CHILD!"

"OK, whose is it then? I'll make sure he takes responsibility. You haven't been around a lot of other guys. Are you sure it's not Ron's? MALFOY, it's not his from when were captive in their manor?"

"IT'S NOT MALFOY!"

"Then it pretty much has to be Ron. I mean you have been around other guys the last few days, but there hasn't been enough time to get pregnant. At least I don't think so. Wait a minute. Did they obviate you? Can you remember anything about sleeping with someone?"

"I'M NOT PREGNANT"

"We should get you tested. Maybe Madam Pomprey knows a spell to tell who the father is. Let's go to the hospital wing and ask."

I'm not pregnant Harry"

"If it is Ron and he won't own up to it I'll kill him. I killed Voldemort, Ron would be easy!"

Hermione took Harry's face in her hands a turned him toward her. "Harry, I am not pregnant."

"But, you've been obviated, how can you be sure?"

"Harry, I'll be blunt. I started my period two nights ago. I'm not pregnant."

"Oh. That's good I suppose."

"Yes Harry it's a good thing. Now back to my loving you."

"That is even more unbelievable! Even if it were true, I could never trust you. What if we were together and you decided you couldn't lose me for something that happens? Are you going to refuse to have children, buy a house, get married or other stuff that comes up with couples? If I got a hangnail will you run to Ron and kiss him again just in case I die? Hermione, I admit that I've grown to love you as far more than a friend. But, you've proven you are not to be trusted."

"How can you say that Harry! I've made a few mistakes but I can be trusted."

"There was the little bout of jealousy of Lavendar-do canaries ring a bell? There was all the snogging and petting even in the tent. There were many sessions in the tent, when you thought I was asleep, where you and Ron giggled and discussed how disappointed you were in me. How useless I seemed to be. Did you really think I didn't hear any of that. Yes, you stayed with me when Ron left. But you were devastated the whole time he was gone. And you started right back with him again as soon as he showed up. Then, at the end, when you knew I had to go and let Riddle kill me you kissed Ron right directly in front of me and stayed by his side. Why? I died Hermione. That kind of changes your perspective on things. How can you say you love me!"

"But Harry."

"No Hermione, you could have told me of your love at any time. Yet you consciously and deliberately chose not to do so. After everything, you have the nerve to tell me this. What kind of person are you? What kind of life could we have? I do love you, but I just could not deal with the doubts I would have. No relationship could survive that. Ron loves you or thinks he does. He apparently wants you so please just go back to him and leave me alone. I don't know what I will do. I know I don't want to watch you with be with someone else. I certainly don't want to hang around to be gradually worn down by Molly and Ginny to be Arthur Weasley Jr with Ginny. So staying here is not something I am eager to do. I've never gotten to see much so I would like to travel and get out of England. A world cruise sounds nice and might help me to forget what this war has cost me. Maybe I'll find some place new to live. Magic or not doesn't really matter right now."

"I'm so sorry Harry. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. I know we can get past this together. You could come with me to find my parents! We could be away from everyone here and just be a couple. I would love you like you deserve. Please Harry!"

"I thank you for the offer Hermione. I really do. It sounds tempting. But, being compared to Ron in your mind is not how I would want a relationship to be with you. I have no idea of how far you have gone with Ron and don't want to know. You know me. You know the tension would be unbearable for me whether you ever thought about it or not. No Hermione. Please understand and leave me alone now. I'm begging you please."

Hermione looked again at Harry. Sorrow and tears in those lovely brown eyes. Her shoulders slumped and head bowed in acceptance. "OK Harry. I do love you. Enough to let you go. I pray that someday you forgive me. I hope you eventually look upon me as a good thing in your life. I am so sorry that I've hurt you. If I could change what I've done to you I would. I've dreamed about us so many times. My stupid fears never gave the dreams a chance. I'm so sorry." She turned away, sobbing now, and ran from him.

Harry so badly wanted to run after her. To catch her. He let his thoughts over rule hist heart this time. Thinking he needed to gather what little he had, he dug through his old trunk. Whispering to himself, "I love you too Hermione. I almost wish I didn't." He knew it very well might be him that was being stupid now. But, you can't easily change how you feel. It was his time to go. "It probably won't help", he tells himself. He just didn't know anything else to do but run.


End file.
